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90Hit any user to continue.
89I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.
88IBM: You can buy better, but you can't pay more.
87If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?
86Make it possible to write programs in English and you will quickly discover that programmers do not know how to write in English.
85Meets quality standards: Compiles without errors.
84Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once...
83Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
82Sorry. My mind has a few bad sectors.
81Syntax? Why not - they tax everything else!
80The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 9.81 m/s^2.
79This message is transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
78Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, hack!
77Volume in Drive C: too_loud!
76Windows Error #F99: CPU too tired to continue...
75Windows Error #000: No errors found!
74Windows would look better with curtains.
73
Molimo

Računalnik naš,
ki si v mreži,
posvečen bodi tvoj zaslon,
naj pridejo k nam tvoji podatki.
Zgodi se tvoja volja,
kakor na trdem disku
tako tudi na tiskalniku.
Daj nam danes naše liste
in odpusti nam naše napake,
kakor tudi mi odpuščamo tvoje
zaradi slabih programov.
Ne pusti nas dolgo čakati
in obvaruj nas vsakega virusa,
kajti tvoja je moč,
tvoja je firma
in tvoj procesor
na vekomaj!

ENTER
72An End User rings Customer Support to report that his computer is faulty.

Customer Support: "What is the problem?"
End User: "There is smoke coming out of the power supply."
Customer Support: "You will need a new power supply."
End User: "No I don't! I just need to change the startup files!"
Customer Support: "The power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it."
End User: "No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command."

10 minutes later, the End User is still adamant that they are right.
The Customer Support Engineer is frustrated...

Customer Support: "Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem."
End User: "I knew it!"
Customer Support: "Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes."

10 minutes later.

End User: "It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking."
Customer Support: "Well, what version of DOS are you using?"
End User: "MS-DOS 6.22."
Customer Support: "That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes."

1 hour later.

End User: "I need a new power supply."
Customer Support: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
End User: "Well, I rang Microsoft and told him all about what you said, and the support person started asking questions about the make of power supply."
Customer Support: "Then what did he say?"
End User: "He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE."
71"Za nadaljevanje pritisnite katerokoli tipko."
"Kje za vraga je katerokoli tipka?"
70Mouse not present. Click to continue...
69Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
68VirusScan Professional
"Windows" found: Remove it? [Y,Y]
67Hiroshima '45 - Tschernobyl '86 - Windows '95
66Microsoft broke Volkswagen's world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!
65IBM creates Operating Systems - MS-DOSn't.
64Alt-F4. Just do it!
63Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.
62Windows means "Work is never done on Windows systems".
61Customer: "I'm running Windows 95..."
Helpdesk: "Yes..."
Customer: "... and now my computer stopped working!"
Helpdesk: "Yes, yes, you already said that."

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29/12/2012
chuck norris stodvajsetkrat



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