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Guidelines to development on the HOLLYWOOD OPERATING SYSTEM

  1. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

  2. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.

  3. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

  4. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.

  5. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

  6. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

  7. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labeled.

  8. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

  9. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a Cray.

  10. Whenever a character looks at a terminal, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.

  11. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

  12. (From Independence Day) No matter what kind of virus it is, any computer can be infected with it -- even an alien spaceship's computer -- simply by running a virus upload program on a laptop.

  13. (From Jurassic Park) A custom system with millions of lines of code controlling a multimillion dollar theme park can be operated by a 13 year old who has seen a Unix system before. Seeing an operating system means you know how to run any application on that system, even custom apps.
    Note: What OS was it really running?
    (1) "These are super computers". A CrayOS?
    (2) "Quicktime movie, Apple logo, trash can." MacOS?
    (3) "Reboot. System ready. C:\" DOS?
    (4) "Hey, this is Unix. I know this" Unix?
    The computers in Jurassic Park were Cray supercomputers running the MacOS as a graphical shell of DOS all layered on top of a Unix base.

  14. You cannot stop a destructive program or virus by unplugging the computer. Presumably the virus has it's own built-in power supply.

  15. You cannot stop a destructive program downloading onto your system by unplugging the phone line. You must figure out the mandatory "back door" all evil virus programmers put in.

  16. Computers only crash if a virus or a hacker is involved.

  17. All text must be at least 72 points.

  18. Word processors do not have an insert point.

  19. The only way to reboot is to shut off the main power to the building.

  20. Passwords can be guessed in three and exactly three tries. If you cannot guess the password in three tries, you must give up immediately.

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